Rambling Etymology Part 3

Last post in this series I discussed the origins of the Tibetan Language in brief. I ended on a concept that I want to explore- thoughtful communication.

When I was a kid, physically not mentally, I was very interested in Native Americans. I think it was part Tonto, part Indian in the Cupboard, and part I thought Cowboys were dicks. I know, not very American of me, but I can’t remember having a fascination with Cowboys; rather, I wanted to be the Indians (Cowboys and Indians the classic, ironic game of childhood) without realizing I was going to be massacred.

I can’t remember the origin of this bit of useless knowledge, but it was one of the many books I read on Native American culture, and it stressed that they handled everything through an oral tradition. In certain Native American cultures, the men would discuss important business, and it was the women that would memorize every word uttered verbatim. I can’t even remember favorite lines of movies that I have seen hundreds of times, but people memorized entire conversations. Moreover, single conversations would take hours because when some spoke the other person listened intently, waiting for the other person to end, and then taking his or her time in constructing a thoughtful response. It was believed that words had powers and to utter anything in haste was wasteful, even potentially harmful. Whether this is true or not, is irrelevant since it is a beautiful notion.

I have noticed that often when I pause for an extended period of time attempting to formulate a thoughtful response I get several reactions. First type, the other person becomes impatient. Second type, the other person might believe that my thoughtfulness is my nefarious mind plotting. Third type, the other person might believe me not paying attention to what the other person is saying. Fourth type, the other person think that I’m inept in thought and communication (which is actually true more often than not).

These are all negative responses to a pause, or a thoughtful construction of a response. Why does communication have to occur at a rapid pace? Why does a dialogue need to be a volley as though we are in a tennis match? I enjoy snappy, snarky dialogue on T.V., but it further promotes the concept that intelligence is linked to how fast one can provide a clever response. How often do we step away from a conversation and think, “Oh man, I should have said this or that.”? There is a place in conversation for wit and pith, but sometimes stopping, slowing, and really listening to another can make us better . . . conversationalist.

Furthermore, if we aren’t holding on to a thought in fear of losing said thought while another is talking, then we can truly absorb what the other person is saying. If we lose a thought, it might really have not been that relevant or it will return. However, my problem is when I discuss things I enjoy, I become overly excited. This leads to rapid speech and outbursts. Mindful of speech can help in slowing conversation to a nice meandering pace. Unless some one is being an ass, then you shot the pith and wit at them with full force. 

Just food for thought.

Until I ramble on again . . .